No, that's a bear in a bee costume.

At the corner of Robson and Thurlow, there exists a strange phenomenon that I've never seen before.


It's hard to see here, but if you click on the picture to enlarge, you'll see that there are Starbucks on two of the four corners of this intersection. I'm sure this is pretty well-traveled comedy ground (you know, "I went to a Starbucks and they were building another Starbucks inside it har har har.") but I couldn't help but think of the scene in Best in Show where Parker Posey and her boyfriend are talking about how they met and she says, "We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other."

This scene ends with the awesome line "We are so lucky. We are so lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs."

Canadian Scott

So, I was walking down Robson Street the day before yesterday, and I saw a guy in a suit holding a sign that said "FREE HUGS." The price sounded right, so I hugged the guy. Now, I'm not going to sit here and blog that it was the best hug I've ever gotten, but you get what you pay for.

Jennifer didn't believe that I hugged the guy with the "Free Hugs" sign, because, well, she says I'm not the type of person that hugs people I know, much less strangers on the street. I calmly explained to her that AMERICAN Scott doesn't hug people, um, ever. CANADIAN Scott will take a free hug from a quasi-sketchy looking dude on the street with a handmade sign.

Canadian Scott also has an infallible sense of direction.

Lord Stanley Park

When you first walk into Stanley Park, you see a statue of Lord Stanley checking to see if it's raining.

This is, of course, if you enter Stanley Park at the entrance near the statue. If you enter somewhere else, you'll just see some trees and maybe a raccoon that's been fed by tourists so often that they'll just walk up to you with their tiny little hands out and follow you for half an hour. The homeless in Vancouver will just sit there and tell you to have a nice day when you walk past, but the raccoons don't take no for an answer.

Anyway, Jen took the kids for a full day in the park, including a visit to the aquarium to see a 10 day old Beluga whale. At least, that's what they told me they did. I haven't seen a single picture of a whale or an otter, so maybe they just sat on the fountain outside our building and drank $12 pints of maple syrup.


The kids have highly advanced balancing skills. It didn't take them very long to do this, either.


At one of the playgrounds in the park they were giving driving lessons to kids. The kids had to pedal these little carts around a course, following directions on street signs and parking correctly. This was apparently much more fun than it sounds. I wasn't there, but I found it hard to believe - it's not like the kids wake up every morning begging me to design and create street signs for them to obey. Anyway, Hughston can't really pedal, so the 7 car was a huge disappointment for the fans.


If you click on the picture above to enlarge it, you'll see that my daughter has plowed over a stop sign.

Women drivers! Am I right?


After a long day, it wasn't hard to get the kids to sleep.

The Swedish, CEO.

So, I have been informed by two female members of my family that the people back stateside are very disappointed by my work ethic with regard to this blog. So, to answer two key questions in everyone's mind - no, I haven't updated the blog in a week and yes, we are still in Canada.

This week has seen a marked increase in The Swedish's entrepreneurial impulses. She may have the idea that Vancouver is absurdly expensive for some reason ($12 for a pint of maple syrup? This is Canada! Can't we just twist the faucet labeled "M" on the sink and get as much maple syrup as we want?). So, her mind has been hard at work looking for business opportunities. Her first idea was to sell her sketches, but even a cursory review of the art market in Vancouver suggests that it's highly competitive. Without even being told, she quickly discovered the key to starting a business - find a problem and solve it.

Has this ever happened to you?


You know the story. You're swinging or simply hanging on some monkey bars by a yacht club, and, to your horrible embarrassment, you keep slipping and falling. Are you lacking arm strength? No. Some sort of mental block? Perhaps, but it's probably more basic.

Shelton calls her invention "Sanditizer." (TRADEMARK PENDING) You might think that this sounds like some sand-based cleanser for sterilizing your hands, but you would be mistaken, as this stuff is disgusting and horrible, and if you put it on your hands expecting them to be somehow cleaner afterwards, your life will be filled with bitter regret. It is a mixture of dirt, sand, water, pulverized rock (also known as sand) and sugar. There is also a bit of perfume (homemade perfume, no less) in there to please your nostrils.

Sanditizer (TRADEMARK PENDING) allows you to get a better grip on playground equipment, making it a significant player in the $4 billion+ (that's a made up number) games and toys market. So, if Shelton can capture only 1% of this market, she'll have a $40 million company. And because it's just a bunch of crap in a ziplock bag, profit margin should be attractive.



You can't argue with results, though. Get your orders in early.

From sea to shining sea.

Happy Independence Day!



Today, we rented a car and drove to West Vancouver to a provincial park. It was the first time since we've been here that either Jennifer or me had driven, and it was easily the most stressful hour that we've had in the last two weeks. There was traffic, uncertainty as to where we were going, and two children in the backseat demanding food and entertainment. So driving was awful and I was grouchy and Jennifer was totally making fun of me. Don't poke the bear, Jennifer.

But, when we got there, it was a beautiful park on Caufield Cove.


There were some seriously steep climbs, but Shelton refused all safety ropes and freeclimbed the whole thing. Besides, it was mostly water below her, so Jen and I felt like everything was cool.


Shelton, Hughston and I lined up and searched every inch of the beach, CSI-style. Sadly, we were unable to find any feet washed up on the shore. A couple of hands and a chin. That's it. What a gyp.



It's the whole family in a picture! I'm bending down because I had set the timer on the camera and didn't remember whether or not I had framed the picture with enough room for my head. I guess I had. I'll edit this picture and revise history later.

Uu Kanata, salagijauquna!

Tuesday, July 1 was Canada Day in Canada, which is why I've posted the last line of the Canadian national anthem (Inuktitut lyrics). I can't pronounce any of it, but I'm impressed by the sheer number of "A"s and "U"s.

Canada Day is like July 4th in the U.S., except 3 days earlier and 100% less independence from England.


Jen and Shelton had a picture taken with a couple of high ranking members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and three other officers (obviously undercover). It's the hard work and dedication of these fine gentlemen that allows Vancouver to remain safe.



Both Shelton and Hughston got maple leaf temporary tattoos. This may or may not classify them as enemy combatants according to the Patriot Act.


Shelton also got a little quality time with a oscillating fan. She was doing the whole "Luke, I AM your father" bit. Oddly enough, this may be the first time she's ever seen a fan like this. Many places in Vancouver don't have central air. In Atlanta, a plastic fan like this would melt into a sticky puddle in our house if it didn't have central air.





Jen went with Shelton and her friends to see the fireworks. There were a lot of people down by the water to watch them, but the fireworks show didn't start until 10:30pm because that's when it gets dark, so Hughston slept at home and I watched the fireworks from our porch.

After 15 minutes or so, the fireworks just sort of stopped for a bit, and people started wandering off, but Jen was insisting "No, no, we can't leave yet. There hasn't been the Grand Finale." But people wandered off just the same and no Grand Finale ever came. Jen was horrified, and I totally sympathized with her. After all, it's hardly a proper fireworks show if the last thirty seconds don't consist of as many explosions as the previous 15 minutes. But, of course, this is chauvinistic thinking. In Canada, that would be way too exciting and too much excitement is considered impolite.

Oh, Canada, we stand on guard for theeeeeeee!